How To Get Over Being Dumped By Your Boyfriend
January 12, 2021
Shock! Horror! Your boyfriend has broken up with you and you’re beside yourself worrying how you’ll ever cope. Getting over being dumped can be a challenge. It hurts when someone rejects you, especially if you’ve been dumped by someone you really care about, and you are wondering about the sweet messages for him to make him smile that you sent your boyfriend when you guys were in a relationship.
The fact that you can learn how to get over being dumped and that the feelings of rejection tormenting you won’t last forever, is something you probably can’t quite really come to terms with right at the moment.
To begin with, it doesn’t matter if you’ve only been dating your boyfriend for a few weeks or you’ve been with him for a long time. When he tells you he doesn’t want to be with you anymore and the relationship is over, it still brings up the same unpleasant feelings and emotions.
Adding to the problem, if you and your guy have had a long-term relationship it’s especially painful to be suddenly dumped. You don’t just feel a kind of ‘personal rejection‘, as if you weren’t good enough for him, but you start to reflect on past memories of the good times you shared and begin asking yourself some serious questions.
Questions like, “Did he ever mean it when he said he loved me?”, “Did I ever truly matter to him if he can let me go so easily?”, “Why didn’t our relationship mean as much to him as it did to me?” or “What was it about our relationship that went bad so quickly?“…and numerous other queries about the reasons for the ending of your romance.
But, rest assured, you can work through the trauma of being dumped.
Hopefully, the following tips and advice may help you get over the feelings of rejection, confusion, and self-doubt when your boyfriend has ended the relationship.
How To Get Over Being Dumped.
The initial step in getting over being dumped by your boyfriend is to stop reading things into, or second-guessing, what went on during the relationship. Don’t start doubting everything he ever said or did, or you’ll drive yourself crazy!
Just because he has ended it now doesn’t mean that he wasn’t happy with your relationship beforehand. And, when he said he loved you, take it on ‘face value’ that he meant it. It’s just that now, for some reason or other, something has changed.
You need to realize that maybe the breakup has little to do with you, or what you did or didn’t do! Perhaps something changed in him that has made him want something different.
Maybe your boyfriend felt that the relationship he had with you wasn’t right for him anymore. And, as hard as it might be to accept, it doesn’t always mean that your ex doesn’t still love or care about you. (Whether that’s some sort of consolation, or not!)
Also, you might be at your wit’s end trying to figure out what’s wrong with you. What about you, or your personality, made him not want you anymore, so much so that he dumped you? But, you’ll be doing yourself a huge favor if you stop doubting yourself. Just accept the fact that he made the decision to end your romance based on himself, not on you…you know, the old “It’s not you, it’s me” breakup line.
It’s only natural that you’ll feel at fault in some way when a relationship ends. Most things in our lives are subjective and maybe, in some small way, you did contribute to the breakup. By being the other half of a relationship you must be prepared to share the responsibility for its success or failure.
But remember, in this unhappy situation, where you’ve been dumped and the relationship ending is not what you wanted to happen, you’ve had little or no control over the outcome. Whatever is going on in your boyfriend’s mind and his life is the real cause of the breakup, not something you were doing wrong!
When trying to figure how to get over being dumped, it’s pretty easy to fall into the “poor me” and “I’m not attractive, clever, funny, or why-would-anyone-fall-in-love-with-me” self-pity mode. This type of reaction is common, but can also be very destructive, so it’s extremely important to be good to yourself and shore yourself up to avoid these feelings at any cost.
Do things that make you laugh, because laughter really does lift your mood. Do things you’re good at and spend time with people who appreciate your great qualities.
If there’s something you’re not happy with about yourself, set goals to change it. Get a new hairstyle, have your nails done, get your eyebrows shaped, take some classes, start a hobby, learn a new language…do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.
Embrace your good points and stop worrying about what anyone might think. If you take time to love yourself again, you’ll find it’s much easier getting over being dumped by your boyfriend.