Coping with Anger
July 16, 2020
Do not reply/ do anything when angry. Just hold back, let it cool off for at least half a day.
This is perhaps the biggest lesson I have learnt in the last two weeks, as a build up to the Madras Quiz and later, when I was taking feedback about the Madras Quiz itself.
I did not learn the lesson and hold back my anger – instead I just went wild for a couple of minutes. One of the respondents who had cared in to send his feedback got a lashing from me. A nasty one that went not only to him but also to the rest of the Quizzing community. Not good…
The problem with anger is actually – how do you smother it? How on earth would you control an emotion that comes naturally to you and blinds your thoughts? It is quite tough, let me tell you.
I did not realise the power of anger until much later when I read what I had written to that guy. The note clearly showed my disapproval of his feedback, the fact that he had called the whole quiz a hotch-potch affair and the questions were a mere-re-do of old questions.
Obviously it was not true – which was why I got angry in the first place, but maybe I should have sent him a private stinker, maybe I should have just kept quiet… These were the thoughts that flashed through my mind. Anger is the results of increased mental toughness and problem in the patients. The control on anger will result in building of the self-confidence and self-esteem for the patients. The thoughts and expressions of the person should be clear to meet with the requirements.
That is what anger does to you – it closes your eyes and thoughts out, the only thing you want to do that particular moment is to tear that guy to pieces. And later it makes you remorseful – why at all lose sleep over someone’s views? After all, everyone is entitled to his or her own views. This certainly would not augur well to argue over nothing, really.
how does one hold back anger? Sentence yourself to “Do nothing”. Take in deep breaths, even if it’s at the speed of knots, even if you end up looking like one of those oxygen deprived fellas on the Moon. Take time off, read something, listen to music that you like (No hard rock please). Get some fresh air (you need air for deep breaths, remember?). Do anything to take your mind off what has happened.
Be diplomatic in taking feedback. This was the greatest lesson of all. All my life, Diplomacy was the last thing on my list. At the end of it all, I ended up sending an email that went like – “hey thanks for your time and feedback. We will address the issues and come back stronger in our future quizzes”!! Where was I all this time? Was this really me?
In times when you have erred, you should quieten down, slow the pace of things. It’s a lot like having pudding (payasam) – it tastes best when its cold.
To err may be human and to forgive may be divine but to forget is Godly….